Category: Relationships/Dating

Exposed

Posted on by Kisses

First off I just want to say I am backkkk. I went on vacation and the summer was a little crazy, but I am so excited about the new posts that I have for you guys.

As the summer sadly approaches it’s end, I feel that it is only necessary to share a summer story from a few years back. Out of respect I will not include names. Two years ago me and one of my female friends were at a club when we met two guys. I knew of these guys before because of mutual friends, but this was the first time I had actually met them. At the club we exchanged numbers, and I didn’t really think much about it. After that night the guys hit me and my friend up and said they wanted to chill, and so we said okay. Little did I know that was a huge mistake.

Well we met up at a pier close to our neighborhood that has a lot of fun things to do by the water. I talked with “my guy” and my friend walked away with “her guy”. Everything was going fine, it was a simple outing in which we were just trying to get to know each other better. Well midway through my conversation with “my guy,” my friend came over and she looked very pissed. I asked her if she was okay, and she said under her breathe, “I will tell you later”. Naturally I was concerned, and right after we went home and went our separate ways. I called her as soon as I got in the house and she told me that the guy had exposed himself to her. I was shocked, when she said this, I was like, “what do you mean exposed.” She told me the guy took his penis out and showed it to her. I thought to myself, what the hell??? Who does that?? Was he on something? I was so upset that my friend even had to go through that.

She then told me that the conversation was stale and that out of nowhere he felt it was necessary to pull his penis out, and when she became shocked (because normal people don’t do that) he laughed and said, “you scared.” My friend was not scared she was appalled, shocked and disgusted. What the hell did he take her for? Did he think she would say, oh that’s nice, can i play? Did this kind of activity work for him on the regular? Because quite frankly I don’t see how it could. Not only was this boy (not a man) disrespectful he was also conceited and out of line. No guy should ever pull out their penis on a first date, let alone a second or third. I don’t even see how it is common protocol for any date, but I wanted to slap him in the face. Better yet how about slapping him with his own genitals, maybe then he would realize how out of line and ridiculous he was being. Anybody out there who is reading this, please please don’t expose yourself on a date, not only can you get yourself in trouble with the law but you also make yourself look like a complete douchebag and someone with no home training. Nobody should ever treat someone with that kind of disrespect and YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE!!!

Got a story, or a question? Send it to iwantmykissesback@gmail.com and follow the iwantmykissesback blog @iwantmykisses on twitter.

Thanks for reading!!

 

SEND ME YOUR CRAZY DATE STORIES

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys so I plan on adding a section to my blog about crazy/hell date stories. I will post them up anonymously for discretion. It can be a really good or bad date. I know I have experienced some bad dates and even witnessed some. I think it will be interesting to see some of the dates that you guys have gone on. I can’t wait to read your stories. PLEASE EMAIL ME AT iwantmykissesback@gmail.com. Follow the Iwantmykissesback blog on twitter at @iwantmykisses. Also like the blog page on Facebook so you can hear about all the new posts. Thank you all for reading and stay tuned for some new posts. HAVE A GREATTT DAYY!!!!!!

EMAIL: IWANTMYKISSESBACK@GMAIL.COM

SEND YOUR STORIES!!!!!

once i get a good amount of stories i will post them up for you all to see and comment on as well!!!

Letter to the emotionally unavailable men of the world

Posted on by Kisses

**** Disclaimer: This letter is not a personal letter to anyone in specific even though it may appear that way. This letter is for those who have ever experienced dating an emotionally unavailable person (which can be frustrating) or who has even been that emotionally unavailable person. It can be frustrating on both ends. While this post is titled letter to the emotionally unavailable “men” of the world, being emotionally unavailable can apply to both genders. I am simply writing from my own point of view as a woman.

Dear Mr.I-Have-A-Wall-Up,
Please stop wasting my time. It is not my job to break down that wall you put up after Betsy broke your heart. I like mystery but if you give me nothing, that is all I will give you back. I do not have time to constantly try to prove myself and ask for forgiveness for a crime I didn’t commit. Stop waiting for Ms. Right to come along and change your whole viewpoint on women and relationships, because well she doesn’t exist. You create distance between people by relying heavily on impersonal means of communication like “texting”. You press ignore when she calls and you are always “busy,” but the moment she is ready to walk away you give her just enough to keep her there for just a moment longer. You were hurt and since then you refuse to open up to anyone else unless they pry information out of you by threatening to push you over a ledge. You play games with women to see how “strong” they are, and to see if they will put up with your b.s even when your not willing to put up with theirs. You use humor and sarcasm to cover up your real feelings and even if you miss her you keep it a secret. You will never fall in love because you simply do not allow yourself to do so. You are a wuss and afraid that if you let anyone in that they will do what “she did” or worse. You think being closed off makes you look cool but instead it makes you look weak. The strongest people in the world are those that allow themselves the opportunity to feel. No girl has ever made your heart skip a beat, except for Betsy who broke your heart and you go through woman like underwear. You leave them confused or even worse heartbroken because they thought you were all-in when you were really half-a**ing it the whole time. You keep dating in hopes that the next woman will break that wall down and sweep you off your feet, but it is impossible. Only you can break down that wall and allow love to grow in your heart. Anything worth having involves risks, but without taking those risks you will never develop a deep emotional connection with anyone. And in the process you will hurt many who were vulnerable enough to open up to you. In the end you think you are strong because you don’t feel the pain that she does and you move on with ease. But deep down inside their is a pain that lingers like the aroma left after a fire. You haven’t forgiven that person from your past and you are blaming the world for their mistakes. Guilty until proven innocent. But that my dear isn’t justice….nor is it love. Stop wasting my time and so many others. Work on yourself and once you remove that wall then think about giving me a call, but by then I probably would have moved on to someone who cared enough to give me an honest chance.

Sincerly,
Ms. Tired-of-Your-Crap-so-now- I- don’t- waste- my- time- with -you- anymore……

Ps: I want my kisses back………

“Think Like A Man” – Movie Review

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys I hope all is well with you. It was requested that I write a review for the movie, “Think Like A Man” based off of Steve Harvey’s best seller, “Act like a lady, Think Like A Man.” First I have to say that I loved the movie and that I actually saw it twice. I rarely go to see a movie twice while it is in theatres.  I read Steve Harvey’s Book years ago, so I had a little background before I even saw the movie. This movie interwines humor and real life issues that men and women go through in dating and relationships. I think that there is a wonderful balance of humor and plot. I love comedies so this movie did it for me. Kevin Hart who plays, “Cedric” is hilarious and will keep you laughing throughout the movie as he focuses on celebrating his “divorce”. In the beginning of the movie you are introduced to the cast who represents different types of daters/relationships. Here is a list of the characters, as well as the obstacles that they face.

Meagan Good (Mya-the 90 day rule) vs. Romany Malco (Zeke- the Player)
Jerry Ferrara (Jeremy, the non-committer) vs. Gabrielle Union (Kristen, the Ring girl)
Terrence Jenkins (Michael, The Momma’s Boy) vs. Regina Hall ( Candace, The Single Mother)
Michael Ealy (The Dreamer) vs. Taraji P. Henson (Lauren, The woman who is her own man)
Kevin Hart (Cedric, Happily Divorced Guy)
Gary Owen (Happily Married Guy)

I love these different scenarios because I feel that anyone can relate to at least one of these situations, or at least knows someone who has dealt with a similar situation. It is a clever battle of the sexes that shows how men and women really think. In the beginning the women flock to get Steve Harvey’s best seller and use it as a guide/way to manipulate their men into giving them what they want. It eventually backfires but teaches valuable relationship advice in the process. While I think that the book is helpful because it shows how men think and breaks it down, I also feel like most of what is in the book is common sense.

I actually felt that the acting in this movie was really good. I felt like I could identify with Meagan Good’s (Mya) character as well as Taraji’s (Lauren) character. Out of all of the scenarios represented my favorite on screen scenarios had to be, “The Dreamer” vs. “The woman who is her own man” and “The 90 day rule” vs. The player”. Many times when a woman is independent and so strong, she tries to play both roles (man and woman) and in the movie it shows exactly why this doesn’t work. It also shows that when a man has a very supportive woman who believes in his dreams by his side it will push him to realize his full potential. I felt that the difference in financial status was a great touch to this movie, because while I don’t think you should settle, I also think that some people are unrealistic. If a person you are dating is actually doing something to achieve their goals but not exactly where you are in life it doesn’t mean that they aren’t dating material. It is when a person is doing nothing to achieve what they want when you should reconsider.

I loved the scenario between Zeke and Mya because it represented knowing your worth and setting some standards. As Steve puts it “Men respect standards, get some.” This could not be more true. Someone can only treat you badly again and again if you allow them to. And if a guy doesn’t want to date you anymore or put in the time and effort to really getting to know your mind you can simply move on without feeling like you’ve lost a part of yourself. I think this is a very well organized movie that is not only relatable but ridiculousy funny. Kevin Hart is simply a clown and gives the movie just enough spice to keep you laughing till your belly hurts. I highly recommend this movie!!!

The Top 10 Places to Meet Men and Women

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys so you know how hard dating can be. Too many times I hear people say they don’t know where to go to meet people. People are so tired of the club scene. I honestly think that the club is the worst place to meet someone, of course there are those few people that have success stories but from my own experience it is rare. Usually at the club there are men and women that are just trying to have a good time, they don’t want anything substantial. Also the club is filled with drunk people, and usually when you meet someone you want to be sober, just in my opinion. So here is a list of my top 10 places to meet a potential date. They are not in any particular order but these are places in which I have actually met someone, or even met an ex-boyfriend. Also some of my friends have met people in these situations as well. Let me know what you think:

1)  A Bookstore-this makes the list because I loveee to read. I can literally spend hours in a bookstore just exploring. And I always see lots of men and women of all ages in barnes and nobles. And you might bump into someone who has similar interests as you.

2) Dance Class- or any type of interest/activity class/cooking/acting etc- This is a great place to meet someone.

3) Church- So I know not everyone goes to church, but for those of you that do this is a great place to potentially meet someone who has the similar values and religious views as you.

4) The Beach/Parks- summertime is just around the corner and EVERYONE- I mean EVERYONE will be at the beach and the parks (I know I will be)


5) Grocery Store-we all have to eat sometime, right?? While your pushing a cart through the aisles you might bump into your soul mate. You never know!


6) Live Music Venues/Concerts- I love live shows and I will even attend a show by myself. This is a perfect place to meet someone who also likes the same kind of music you like. (Already something in common)

7) Museums-I like going to museums and exploring new things. And some museums actually have cool events they put on monthly. For those of you in the NY area, the Brooklyn Museum has this cool event called “First Saturdays” every first saturday of the month in which they have live music and a multitude of different events.

8) The Gym- so many people workout daily. While getting yourself in shape you might meet someone while running on a treadmill.

9) Online- and of course you can meet both men and women online on dating websites. This is a good option for those people that are very busy or don’t go out often.

10) Lounges- While I am not a big fan of meeting someone at a club, a lounge is a little more upscale and classy. People are usually dressed to impress and it is a lot less rowdy than a club.

Hope you liked this list. If you have anymore suggestions or a topic you want to see, email me at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com

Thanks for reading!!

Kisses  xoxo

Is Physical Attraction Really Important?

Posted on by Kisses

Recently I got a message from a friend asking me if she should continue seeing a guy that she wasn’t physically connected to or if she should end it. I personally think that it is very important that you are attracted to a person BODY, MIND, AND SOUL. I think that you cannot have one without the other because they all correlate. The same goes for the other way around, if you think someone is gorgeous but you have no chemistry, there is no point, unless you simply want a physical relationship. I told her that if he doesn’t make your vagina whisper then please move on. And that goes for both males and females in any type of relationship that involves another person. If you don’t feel excited or get that spark after feeling them out you should move on. I am in no way a shallow person but I think that if you do not have a physical attraction as well as chemistry with someone that the relationship won’t go far and will fade out.

When you like someone and you are feeling them, you usually just know. The fact that my friend wrote me a message due to her uncertainty shows that she already had doubts after only a few dates. I think that is way too soon to question if you want to even go on another date with someone which means she really just wasn’t feeling it. I think it’s better to be honest with yourself and move on before that other person gets in too deep. You don’t want to cause any heartbreak because you decided well I guess I will give him/her another shot even though he/she doesn’t make my heart smile. At the same time some people have ridiculous standards. If you think that every person you meet is going to look like a super model then you need a serious reality check. I think it is just important that you have an attraction to a person, they do not need to be the best looking person in the world. In fact there will probably always be someone else out there that you will be attracted to, a lot of fishes in the sea. But once you have that initial attraction you have something to begin with and then if you get to know someone and they have a wonderful personality it will complement them nicely and they will probably become even more attractive in your eyes.

I personally just do not feel that it is wise to pursue something with someone you have no initial attraction for. I have seen some cases in which this has worked out but I have also seen many situations in which that didn’t happen and someone ended up getting hurt. I know that not every guy is going to find me attractive and vice versa, but that’s life. We all like different things. Someone else will see what someone else doesn’t and then you can build on that by creating a deeper connection that connects you mind and soul. I want to feel butterflies when I see someone (which i have) and I want to want their embrace. If I am simply not attracted to you I will not see you past a certain level. Why do you think they say that the first impression is so important? Because people go by sight first and then the rest follows. But I also think that if you meet someone who you have chemistry with but aren’t physically attracted to, you should give them a chance. Attraction is not only skin deep, but if after a few dates you still aren’t fully feeling it, walk away.

The Do’s and Dont’s of Online Dating- Pros vs. Cons

Posted on by Kisses

Hey guys so this was another requested topic and I must say it is a popular topic especially in today’s society filled with media and online interactions. I love the requests and feedback, so please keep it coming. Now first I would like to say that I do not see a problem with online dating and I am all for it. Did you know that 1 in 5 relationships start out from online dating websites (lol- i couldnt help but sound like that match.com commercial) With that said online dating is not for everyone. I am not currently on any dating websites but I have used one in the past so I think I can give a little input based on my experience and opinion. Also I have quite a few friends that are on dating websites themselves. I don’t think being on a dating website is something to be ashamed of. Today everyone is so busy, and meeting someone in the club is getting old and not really the best place in my opinion. If you choose to try online dating I suggest researching all the different sites that they have out there. They have paid sites like match.com and eharmony and then there are free sites like plenty of fish and okcupid. I have used okcupid and it has it’s ups and downs. First things first if you are going to try online dating PLEASE BE safe. I cannot stress it enough.

Do’s:
-Meet in a public place, like a mall or well known area – if you are in the NY area- i like times square because there are cops everywhere, or a starbucks
-Tell a friend where you are going and with whom
-You can look up the person online- background check- if you feel it is necessary
-If possible turn on the GPS feature on your phone while on the date
-Go on a couple of dates and really get to know a person before you let them in on private details of your life (like exactly where you work or live)
-Be Truthful on your page, for ex: if you have kids, put that information on your page, if you leave that info out it makes it seem as if your kids are not important to you or like you are trying to hide something
-Be positive, nobody likes a negative debby downer or party pooper
-Put up a nice picture that is about 3/4 of your head and your body that shows you smiling and represents who you are in a positive way
-Read a potential dater’s FULL PAGE- don’t half ass it- you will regret it later

Dont’s:
-Don’t put up a ronchy picture- meaning don’t put up a picture showing too much skin, or pushing your butt out and your boobs or a picture of your genitals(highly inappropriate btw) this gives off the wrong message and if you are looking for something serious, it won’t be the vibe you give off simply from a picture
-Have a picture, if you are on a dating website without a picture, shame on you, its not fair that you know what they look like but they don’t know what you look like-don’t be a creeper
-Don’t send one line messages- it tends to get old, bring up something or ask a question
-Do not meet at your house or at your date’s house, this goes for guys/girls you meet offline too
– Do not get drunk with this person- you do not want a stranger taking advantage of you
-Be Vague- if there is no information on your page why would anyone want to date you or even have an interest- you might get lucky if you have a great picture, but then you know that they only contacted you because of your picture and nothing else
-Don’t fabricate-i can usually detect bs from a mile away- leave it at the door

****Now in my opinion here is the Pros and Cons of online dating- from the perspective of Okcupid

Pros:
-Okcupid provides questions that you can answer that show how compatible you might be with another person- that way if you don’t have that much of a compatability percentage you don’t need to date them
-You can decide who you want to contact and who cant contact you- married individuals, smokers etc
-You can get to know someone from a distance before you even decide you want to take time out and actually meet them
-You can meet more people than you would normally meet outside in a shorter amount of time
-It saves time
-There is somewhat of a screening process-depending on what website you use

Cons:
-Not everyone is who they say they are-beware of fakes- be safe and do your research
-Some people have very blank pages- but you do not need to write them or respond to them
-Sometimes there are creeps and weirdos that send you creepy or disturbing messages- BLOCK THEM or report them
-Some people only have one picture up that shows nothing or shows a side profile which doesn’t let you know exactly what they look like- ask for more pictures- if they refuse- keep it moving
-Some people don’t look like their pictures- this has not happened to me but I have heard stories from friends- smh smh
-People fabricate their profiles to make them sound like they are selling a really amazing product—if it seems too phony- walk away- no one is perfect

Be Truthful, Be SAFE and remember to have fun and be yourself : )

Kisses

Playing the field- Is it really okay???

Posted on by Kisses

So you were dating this amazing guy and you decided to not date any other guys while seeing him, but now he has moved on and left you high and dry for the next chick faster than you can say, “but baby why”. And now you are wondering what you did wrong. How can you fix it? etc This is a requested topic. A friend of mine wanted to know my thoughts on dating different men at the same and for the sake of the request I will keep it gender specific but what I have to say applies to both men and women and all types of dating relationships. No one is exempt lol. My thoughts are simple… I don’t think there is anything wrong with dating more than one guy at the same time, and when I say dating I do not mean being in a committed relationship, i mean simply that, “dating”.

Most guys date women simultaneously. It is called playing the field. Getting to know different people and feeling them out before you make a decision to commit. When a guy does it, it is seen as keeping his options open but sometimes when a woman does it she is seen as loose or not desirable. That is complete and utter bull*** and a double standard that i do not endorse. I think that women should play the field and get to know different guys within reason. Dating is time consuming and sometimes costly if you have to pay to get to the person etc so choose who you date wisely. Also if you do date other men, when one decides to dip on you it will be easier to deal with because you have other options. If a guy has his options open I do not see why you can’t have your options open as well.

While I think it is okay to date other guys at the same time I think that it is important that you inform the guys that you are dating that you are dating or talking to other people. I don’t think its cool to keep that information from someone you are seeing, they have a right to know that. Also there is absolutely nothing wrong with just seeing one person at a time. Some people like to do that because they like to just focus on one person at a time but make sure you know where the other person stands on this as well so that if they are seeing other people, you know. You shouldn’t choose to see other people out of spite, do it simply because you want to. Here is the tricky part, while i think it is okay to date or talk to different guys at the same time I don’t think a woman should be having sex with all of the men she is seeing. This puts you at risk for getting a disease or getting pregnant. I think if you do choose to take it to that level that is when you should decide on one person that you are intimate with in order to keep yourself safe. While dating other guys is a good way to really figure out what you want and meet new people there is always a possibility that a guy that you really like can hurt you and that is why it is so important to love yourself and be comfortable in your own skin before you date. If you don’t love yourself the moment a guy disappears you will be so distraught and feel like you’ve lost everything when in reality you didn’t lose much just a guy who isnt the one.

Kisses
Do you want to give feedback? Do you have a story or topic you want to share? Email me at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com
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Thank you for reading!!!

Chemistry is simply not enough!

Posted on by Kisses

So you’ve met this guy or girl who you think really gets you. You both click really well and he or she laughs at your jokes and you already have inside jokes together. You both can talk on the phone for hours at a time and you guys have ….dare I say it, CHEMISTRY. This person makes your heart skip a beat whenever they are around or they make you laugh so much that your belly hurts and now you think you want to be in a relationship with them. Let me say this right now, chemistry is not enough and it never will be and here’s why:
Just because you and someone else have chemistry doesn’t mean you are compatible. To be honest there will probably be quite a few people that you come across that you “click” with and have that so called, “connection” with, but you need to connect on all levels; body, mind and soul. Ask yourself these very important questions: Are you and the person you like actually compatible? Do you have the same religious views? Do you both wants kids? If so, when do you want kids? What are your career goals? and do they intertwine? Do you both want to get married? Do you both have similar goals in terms of location? How do each of you deal with conflict? How are both parties with their families? Are there kids involved? How are you with money? Are you a neat freak? Does it matter if a person isn’t a neat freak? These are the things you really need to discuss if you actually want to develop a relationship with someone. You can talk to someone till 4 in the morning about how much you love 90’s nick, which is great but don’t forget those important questions along the way. It will save you so much time and money and maybe even a “broken” heart. If your long-term goals don’t line up then chances are you will have a lot of turbulence in your relationship down the line.
At the same time it goes both ways, if you are compatible with someone but have no spark or chemistry it will also not work out. Does this person give you butterflies in your tummy? Do you think about them in the morning and before you go to sleep at night? Do they make your heart smile? (yes i know sentimental and gushy- but i am serious) If you don’t feel that spark, compatibility won’t matter either because that relationship will get boring real quick. You need both chemistry and compatibility for a relationship to thrive. It’s like those “now what” commercials. Okay so you are cute and I am attracted to you, now what??? You need more than a cute face. Okay so we spoke till 4 in the morning for 4 nights in a row….now what??? Remember chemistry is simply not enough.

Thanks for reading, please subscribe and send your comments and story ideas my way: iwantmykissesback@gmail.com

-Kisses xoxo

Stop Texting me, no seriously

Posted on by Kisses

So it’s 2012 and everybody and their mama is texting. This is the age of textaholicism. While I think texting is a good way to communicate when you are unable to speak I do not think it should be the ONLY way to speak. I am so tired of people telling me that the person they are talking to doesn’t “like” to talk on the phone and just likes to text. I think that is straight BULL. I don’t mean to be harsh but maybe he or she just doesn’t like to talk to you on the phone.

Actually if I meet a guy and he tells me that he doesn’t talk on the phone and he only texts I am automatically turned off because communication is very key to me. I have no problem talking on the phone, in fact I prefer to talk on the phone over texting, but there are sometimes when it is just better for me to text because I am unable to talk. And while I like to talk on the phone I don’t like to talk all day, I have a life. I like to talk to the person I am seeing at least once a day, whether it is via text or phone just to check in, but I refuse to text every single thing. I am not dating a phone and I would like to actually hear the person’s voice sometime since I probably won’t get to see them all the time.

Also I absolutely hate when someone texts me a ridiculously long text about something serious. I understand if it is a dire situation and you are unable to call and you need me right away, but if I know you can indeed call me and you just decided to send me a 7 page novel about how you are so in love with me, chances are I am not even going to respond. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Just call me, or tell me in person. A little more direct contact goes a long way. In a relationship communication in all avenues is important so I personally think that if someone only texts you and does not call, you might want to reevaluate that relationship,….unless this is a person you happen to see so often that you don’t even need to talk on the phone. And also if what you are telling me amounts to 7 text messages chances are its probably better said on the phone because it probably requires a long response back.

I feel like if someone is really interested in you they will have no problem picking up the phone and talking to you even if it is for a few minutes. And to be honest the people that tell me they are not phone people are usually people that can’t hold conversations or people that have come encounter with people that can’t hold conversations so they don’t want to be on the phone. No one wants to be on the phone when you’re sitting there in complete silence. Find a more interesting person –you might change your mind. Honestly if I don’t find a guy interesting enough to have a whole conversation on the phone with (not a 5 minute convo) chances are I am probably not going to want to waste my time texting him either, but that’s just me. What are your thoughts? email me, send me a question or a topic you want me to write about at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com and don’t forget to follow me on twitter- www.twitter.com/iwantmykisses
Thanks for reading

Kisses xoxo