God is so important to me and I have been growing my relationship with him every day. In the past, I have been in relationships that were not Godly relationships. I have always believed in God but I was not following scripture like I should have been. I was not celibate always and I relied heavily on my own will and not God’s. Needless to say, none of my past relationships worked out. As I embark on this new spiritual journey and closeness to God I realize just how important it is to have Godly friendships and relationships.
I think in order for you to have a successful relationship it needs to be a God relationship. And let me be clear, a good relationship is not always a God relationship. Moving forward I want confirmation from God in every area of my life, including relationships. A lot of times we can make a person our idol and when you make a person your everything the moment you don’t have them anymore you feel you have lost everything. Many people make their significant other, or their spouse, and things their idols but by having a good foundation in Christ I believe you can prevent this. I am not a relationship expert, but one thing I do know is that God makes me better. I tried to do things my way and it didn’t work and so now I am striving to do things God’s way. I want to be in agreement and alignment with God and that includes relationships. In the bible, there is no script on exactly how to date but there are scriptures there that can help guide you.
Here are 4 ways you can put God first in your relationship:
- Stay in your word: Psalm 119:10-11 says: “With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” In order to put God first in a relationship, you must continuously seek God out. You must always make time for him and spend time with him; which means speaking to him and reading his word. If you seek God wholeheartedly and look to scripture when things get hard you will hear his voice and be able to discern what is right and what is wrong. Not every relationship will work out but by keeping God first you will be able to discern if the relationship you are in is the right one.
- Pray for each other: I thought about saying praying with each other but I think that depends on the people involved. Prayer is very intimate and I think that praying with someone can cause deep emotions and can lead to you not fully guarding your heart depending on how deep you go. I think it depends on the two people involved. But one thing that I think is a necessity is to pray for your partner. I think there is nothing more beautiful than praying for the covering of your significant other. Not only are you including God in your relationship but you are also showing your genuine love by praying for your significant other’s heart and well-being.
- Sacrifice: Relationships are not easy. While I think a relationship should flow easily and not feel forced I also know that there is no such thing as a perfect mate. We are all imperfectly perfect and we all come up short. A lot of times we can get too prideful and not be open to compromise, but that is not love. In Corinthians 12:4-8 it tells us what love is, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Love takes sacrifice, and it takes patience.
- Flee from sexual immorality and temptation: 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” Sex is meant for marriage. I understand that this can be a tough one as I was not always celibate but I want to walk with God and do things right. I know that this can be a challenge and that we can slip up but I challenge you to try again even if you do slip up. Even in a logical sense abstaining from sex until getting married makes sense. You can get pregnant and be exposed to all types of diseases. Sex can cloud your judgment. It can make you stay in a relationship that is clearly not for you. It causes soul ties and can make it extremely difficult to part ways with someone who may not be who God intended you to be with. By waiting to have sex before marriage you are allowing yourself to have a clear heart and mind. You can now focus on someone’s heart and if you have a real connection outside of the physical. Every couple is different so you need to come up with clear boundaries that work for you and your partner. Some couples choose not to kiss, others can handle kissing. It really depends on both parties and self-control. You have to use wisdom in figuring out your boundaries.
No relationship is easy but when you put God at the forefront of your relationship you will have a very strong foundation and if it is God’s will for your life it will be amazing. Thank you so much for reading! Be sure to check out my other/sister website www.selfloveempowers.com for all things Self-Love.