Chemistry is simply not enough!

So you’ve met this guy or girl who you think really gets you. You both click really well and he or she laughs at your jokes and you already have inside jokes together. You both can talk on the phone for hours at a time and you guys have ….dare I say it, CHEMISTRY. This person makes your heart skip a beat whenever they are around or they make you laugh so much that your belly hurts and now you think you want to be in a relationship with them. Let me say this right now, chemistry is not enough and it never will be and here’s why:
Just because you and someone else have chemistry doesn’t mean you are compatible. To be honest there will probably be quite a few people that you come across that you “click” with and have that so called, “connection” with, but you need to connect on all levels; body, mind and soul. Ask yourself these very important questions: Are you and the person you like actually compatible? Do you have the same religious views? Do you both wants kids? If so, when do you want kids? What are your career goals? and do they intertwine? Do you both want to get married? Do you both have similar goals in terms of location? How do each of you deal with conflict? How are both parties with their families? Are there kids involved? How are you with money? Are you a neat freak? Does it matter if a person isn’t a neat freak? These are the things you really need to discuss if you actually want to develop a relationship with someone. You can talk to someone till 4 in the morning about how much you love 90’s nick, which is great but don’t forget those important questions along the way. It will save you so much time and money and maybe even a “broken” heart. If your long-term goals don’t line up then chances are you will have a lot of turbulence in your relationship down the line.
At the same time it goes both ways, if you are compatible with someone but have no spark or chemistry it will also not work out. Does this person give you butterflies in your tummy? Do you think about them in the morning and before you go to sleep at night? Do they make your heart smile? (yes i know sentimental and gushy- but i am serious) If you don’t feel that spark, compatibility won’t matter either because that relationship will get boring real quick. You need both chemistry and compatibility for a relationship to thrive. It’s like those “now what” commercials. Okay so you are cute and I am attracted to you, now what??? You need more than a cute face. Okay so we spoke till 4 in the morning for 4 nights in a row….now what??? Remember chemistry is simply not enough.

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-Kisses xoxo

Stop Texting me, no seriously

So it’s 2012 and everybody and their mama is texting. This is the age of textaholicism. While I think texting is a good way to communicate when you are unable to speak I do not think it should be the ONLY way to speak. I am so tired of people telling me that the person they are talking to doesn’t “like” to talk on the phone and just likes to text. I think that is straight BULL. I don’t mean to be harsh but maybe he or she just doesn’t like to talk to you on the phone.

Actually if I meet a guy and he tells me that he doesn’t talk on the phone and he only texts I am automatically turned off because communication is very key to me. I have no problem talking on the phone, in fact I prefer to talk on the phone over texting, but there are sometimes when it is just better for me to text because I am unable to talk. And while I like to talk on the phone I don’t like to talk all day, I have a life. I like to talk to the person I am seeing at least once a day, whether it is via text or phone just to check in, but I refuse to text every single thing. I am not dating a phone and I would like to actually hear the person’s voice sometime since I probably won’t get to see them all the time.

Also I absolutely hate when someone texts me a ridiculously long text about something serious. I understand if it is a dire situation and you are unable to call and you need me right away, but if I know you can indeed call me and you just decided to send me a 7 page novel about how you are so in love with me, chances are I am not even going to respond. WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? Just call me, or tell me in person. A little more direct contact goes a long way. In a relationship communication in all avenues is important so I personally think that if someone only texts you and does not call, you might want to reevaluate that relationship,….unless this is a person you happen to see so often that you don’t even need to talk on the phone. And also if what you are telling me amounts to 7 text messages chances are its probably better said on the phone because it probably requires a long response back.

I feel like if someone is really interested in you they will have no problem picking up the phone and talking to you even if it is for a few minutes. And to be honest the people that tell me they are not phone people are usually people that can’t hold conversations or people that have come encounter with people that can’t hold conversations so they don’t want to be on the phone. No one wants to be on the phone when you’re sitting there in complete silence. Find a more interesting person –you might change your mind. Honestly if I don’t find a guy interesting enough to have a whole conversation on the phone with (not a 5 minute convo) chances are I am probably not going to want to waste my time texting him either, but that’s just me. What are your thoughts? email me, send me a question or a topic you want me to write about at and don’t forget to follow me on twitter-
Thanks for reading

Kisses xoxo

A Witness to Bull****

Two weeks ago right before valentine’s day I witnessed a very sad and appalling travesty. Yes I feel the need to be completely dramatic, because what I saw was that serious. I went to dinner with one of my close female friends and as we were sitting in “Fridays” my friend informed me that the female behind me had just been stood up midway into dinner. WHATTT!! So pretty much the waiter asked the guy that she was with to see his id after he ordered an alcoholic beverage and then he said oh I think I dropped my id outside when I got out the car. Well she was waiting for him for atleast an hour because he had gone to leave before me and my friend had received our food and we were finished and ready to go and she was left alone. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that the guy was also her ride. My friend overheard the whole story while I stepped away to go to the restroom. I wanted to turn around so bad and show my sympathy for this girl. This is an example of complete and utter bull***. This guy takes the cake and award for a**hole of the year. No woman should be left alone on a date, even if the person isn’t interested. Not only was this woman left with the bill, but she was left with no ride. You have to be a very heartless and cold person to do that to someone. I hope she knows that she deserves so much better. Guys like that make it harder for the great men of the world to date, because more women have their guards up and refuse to let them in. Moral of the story is, there are some cold people out there, but if something like this happens to you, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It probably means you need to choose better and that the next time you see this person on street please trip them into reality, cause that isn’t cool. Know your worth, and everyone is worth more than that. No one deserves that kind of treatment so hold your head high and keep it moving. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!—he definitely is not—-loser