**** Disclaimer: This letter is not a personal letter to anyone in specific even though it may appear that way. This letter is for those who have ever experienced dating an emotionally unavailable person (which can be frustrating) or who has even been that emotionally unavailable person. It can be frustrating on both ends. While this post is titled letter to the emotionally unavailable “men” of the world, being emotionally unavailable can apply to both genders. I am simply writing from my own point of view as a woman.
Please stop wasting my time. It is not my job to break down that wall you put up after Betsy broke your heart. I like mystery but if you give me nothing, that is all I will give you back. I do not have time to constantly try to prove myself and ask for forgiveness for a crime I didn’t commit. Stop waiting for Ms. Right to come along and change your whole viewpoint on women and relationships, because well she doesn’t exist. You create distance between people by relying heavily on impersonal means of communication like “texting”. You press ignore when she calls and you are always “busy,” but the moment she is ready to walk away you give her just enough to keep her there for just a moment longer. You were hurt and since then you refuse to open up to anyone else unless they pry information out of you by threatening to push you over a ledge. You play games with women to see how “strong” they are, and to see if they will put up with your b.s even when your not willing to put up with theirs. You use humor and sarcasm to cover up your real feelings and even if you miss her you keep it a secret. You will never fall in love because you simply do not allow yourself to do so. You are a wuss and afraid that if you let anyone in that they will do what “she did” or worse. You think being closed off makes you look cool but instead it makes you look weak. The strongest people in the world are those that allow themselves the opportunity to feel. No girl has ever made your heart skip a beat, except for Betsy who broke your heart and you go through woman like underwear. You leave them confused or even worse heartbroken because they thought you were all-in when you were really half-a**ing it the whole time. You keep dating in hopes that the next woman will break that wall down and sweep you off your feet, but it is impossible. Only you can break down that wall and allow love to grow in your heart. Anything worth having involves risks, but without taking those risks you will never develop a deep emotional connection with anyone. And in the process you will hurt many who were vulnerable enough to open up to you. In the end you think you are strong because you don’t feel the pain that she does and you move on with ease. But deep down inside their is a pain that lingers like the aroma left after a fire. You haven’t forgiven that person from your past and you are blaming the world for their mistakes. Guilty until proven innocent. But that my dear isn’t justice….nor is it love. Stop wasting my time and so many others. Work on yourself and once you remove that wall then think about giving me a call, but by then I probably would have moved on to someone who cared enough to give me an honest chance.
Ms. Tired-of-Your-Crap-so-now- I- don’t- waste- my- time- with -you- anymore……
Ps: I want my kisses back………
Two weeks ago right before valentine’s day I witnessed a very sad and appalling travesty. Yes I feel the need to be completely dramatic, because what I saw was that serious. I went to dinner with one of my close female friends and as we were sitting in “Fridays” my friend informed me that the female behind me had just been stood up midway into dinner. WHATTT!! So pretty much the waiter asked the guy that she was with to see his id after he ordered an alcoholic beverage and then he said oh I think I dropped my id outside when I got out the car. Well she was waiting for him for atleast an hour because he had gone to leave before me and my friend had received our food and we were finished and ready to go and she was left alone. What makes this whole thing even worse is the fact that the guy was also her ride. My friend overheard the whole story while I stepped away to go to the restroom. I wanted to turn around so bad and show my sympathy for this girl. This is an example of complete and utter bull***. This guy takes the cake and award for a**hole of the year. No woman should be left alone on a date, even if the person isn’t interested. Not only was this woman left with the bill, but she was left with no ride. You have to be a very heartless and cold person to do that to someone. I hope she knows that she deserves so much better. Guys like that make it harder for the great men of the world to date, because more women have their guards up and refuse to let them in. Moral of the story is, there are some cold people out there, but if something like this happens to you, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It probably means you need to choose better and that the next time you see this person on street please trip them into reality, cause that isn’t cool. Know your worth, and everyone is worth more than that. No one deserves that kind of treatment so hold your head high and keep it moving. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!—he definitely is not—-loser