Why you should date yourself before you date anyone else

Okay some of you are probably thinking, “date yourself” what the hell are you talking about. Well let me explain. I think that in order for a person to love you, you need to not just love yourself first but also be completely comfortable with yourself. My best friend made me realize that I was not comfortable with myself a while back. I love myself dearly but being comfortable was a whole other level. Ask yourself this: Do you do things that you love to do by yourself? Or do you always need a companion by your side to go out and enjoy life? If your friends or a potential date isn’t available do you sit inside thinking “oh well they are flaky i will just stay in tonight” Put an end to that now. Can you go to the movies by yourself and not feel awkward? How about a concert? or those salsa lessons you’ve always wanted to try? Or that new poetry spot. If you feel awkward doing things by yourself then you are probably not fully comfortable with yourself. Of course there are some activities that do require others and I do not suggest going out to eat by yourself but there are plenty of things you can do by yourself.
I think that a person who can go out and enjoy life without needing a significant other or person to validate them or keep them company is the most desirable candidate. Think about it. A person who is comfortable and confident with their own identity will most likely not be needy or clingy because they don’t need another person’s attention to validate their own existence. They simply exist and enjoy life. A significant other would simply complement them but not define them. And why would you want to put so much power in another person’s hand? Honestly some people put a lot of pressure on their mates by relying on them for everything/happiness and that pushes people away. Nobody wants that type of responsibility because the moment they make a mistake or do something wrong they fear they can easily break your heart. The man or woman who has his or her own life and friends, and passions are the most sought out candidates in the dating world. They are strong and confident and can live just fine without another person by their side. They know how to make themselves happy so it makes it easier for them to make a potential candidate even happier. They exude positive energy and everyone loves and wants to be around positive energy.
I love anything comedic for that very reason. Comedy makes me laugh and smiling is good for the soul so I can watch funny videos/shows for hours. The same goes for being around someone, if they exude positive energy you are automatically going to be drawn to them. Nobody wants to be around someone who is constantly negative, and always in need of attention. In fact most people want to give others attention when they do not ask for it. Think about it. Usually when a person blows up your phone and gives you no space to breathe you get irritated and you pull away but when they don’t you want to speak to them more. If you are not comfortable in your own skin I suggest you focus on that before you focus on another. People cannot fill the voids that we need to fill ourselves. If you rely on others all the time for your own happiness you will end up unhappy. Do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Focus on yourself, your health and appearance. Have fun, do things with your friends and put that energy into your career. Love will come when you least expect it and once you know how to truly love yourself you will be able to love someone else.

Kisses xoxo

4 thoughts on “Why you should date yourself before you date anyone else

  1. It is good to date yourself its almost the same thing as watching yourself while u sit inside your mind to learn how u really are as a person from outside that restrictive point of view. I sat and watch myself and realized how much I changed as a human being because of what I been through the past 4 years and in reality I am kind of dissappointed in what I became. I learned that I had a few unsolved issues that my recent past pumped up. It was as if I had a split personality that obliterated the person I use to be cause of what I learned by watching and hanging out with myself I realized that I ruined a relationship by becoming a sucker and lost a very good friendship that had the possibility to grow into a relationship that could of been 10 times more powerful. My friend don't talk to me and that hurts but I can't undo the past and I learned from my mistakes and now I am trying to be a better person who is looking into the future and preying 4 better days

    From an old friend

  2. well “old friend” I am glad that you have learned from your mistakes and trying to do better. Definitely don't dwell on the past, we all make mistakes. It is how you handle your mistakes that really define your character. It sounds to me like you have definitely grown as a person from dealing with your past relationship. As for the friendship you lost, maybe you can contact them and let them know how you feel. Sometimes you do just have to move on, but i think if it's a friendship worth saving you should at least reach out if you haven't already done so. By the way who are you? email me at iwantmykissesback@gmail.com

    I really appreciate you reading : )

  3. Yea your right I should do that but at the same time I dont want to get blown off but then again I do deserve it. But I guess thats life God made us supreme beings. Gave us the skill to build, and destroy somewhat of god's power but at the same time he throw in lessons, karma, and regret. That is human nature I build a friendship and I made a mistake and destroyed a friendship and now karma came in and I am regretting then comes the phase of learning a lesson and adapting to it. My friends call me Trill

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