Let Him Pursue You

In the Bible, it says, “He that finds a wife, finds a good thing, not she that finds a husband.” Often times we get caught up and fall for a guy and we start chasing him and pursuing him. I used to do this. I used to always initiate contact, try to make plans and try to force things.

Let me tell you right now, what is for you is for you and you will not have to chase a soulmate. Queen, are you searching and looking for “the one” everywhere you go? I used to do this. The cute guy at the store in the mall, the guy online, the guy on Instagram or the guy in my class, etc. I was always thinking could he be my husband. The problem with this thinking is that by doing this my energy was off. I gave off an aura of desperation and that repels men. On top of that by trying to pursue a man I didn’t allow room for a man to pursue me. I was so obsessed with wanting to find love and be in love that I decided I needed to take matters in my own hands. How crazy of me to think that God could handle every area in my life but my love life.

So year after year I was doing things my own way, not trusting God and pursuing men that I had no business pursuing. Ignoring red flags left and right because I just wanted love so bad. It took me losing myself to really find myself in God. It wasn’t until I took time to love myself and learn who I am in Christ that I stopped doing the pursuing. You see men are supposed to lead and I truly believe that the man for you will lead you and will see you when God shows you to him. You do not have to pursue the one for you because he will pursue you.

When God created Eve he took Adam’s rib out of him and created her. When he saw her he knew who she was because she was part of him, she came from him. Your soulmate, the one for you, will see you and his spirit will resonate with you. He will be drawn to you and it might even be unexplainable, but most importantly he will pursue you. He will initiate contact, put in effort and plan dates. He will want to learn all about you and your heart and he will see you. We often want a man to lead us but are too busy trying to lead and create something from nothing. I know sometimes it can feel like when will it happen for me God, when will I meet my husband etc, but I promise you once you start living a life of purpose, start loving yourself (find out how here), and start seeking a whole life, that is when your help mate will seek you. Trust God’s timing and live an empowered life; that way when your boo does pursue you, you will be prepared and ready to love in a healthy way. Thank you so much for reading!!! Be sure to check out my other/sister website that is all about Self-Love at www.selfloveempowers.com


How to Make Friends in a New City



               Making friends in your twenties is hard. Making friends in your twenties in a new city is even harder. But let’s face it making friends when you’re passed the grade school era is just plain difficult. When you are a kid you dont have any shame or a care in the world, and you want to talk and play with everyone. It’s like , “hey can I play with your yo yo” and “omg you have the new spice girls gum” or “hey lets play on the jungle gym”. (Okay boom we are now friends for life, because spice girls gum and yo yo’s were pretty awesome) Even in college making friends can be a little weird at first. You get stuck in an orientation group with a crazy happy orientation leader who is just ridiculously nice for no reason. (Dude, why are you so happy, its creepy) And then you’re forced to talk to someone you dont know, when in reality it would be so much easier just to let it happen naturally. And now that I am in my twenties and out of college I am at a point where making friends feels like a lot of work. And it is not as easy as it used to be. You see back then if you let me play in your double dutch game we were lifelong besties. Now a person holds the door for you and you are still just a stranger, it’s like damn can I get a hello (no, I dont know you). Don’t get me wrong I am in no way super anti-social, but I dont just go up to people and start a conversation. Even when I was dating I didnt just say hey sexy over there, can I talk to you for a second? Can I get a refill? A guy would approach me and then it was easier.


                  Well the reason I have decided to write about this today is because I have just moved from NY to Saint Louis. Before you all say WOAH who moves from NY to STL. Let me explain, I like to try new things and I have lived in NY my whole life, while I will always be a New Yawkahh, it is overrated, very fun at times, but overrated. There is always bad that comes with the good. In a year I will be in LA. For now I am checking out STL and its not that bad. My only complaint about STL is the muggy weather. Its mainly humid, and I dont believe in humidity. I like dry heat, minus the forest fires. So far I have made like 2 friends ha ha. But I dont need a huge possy (do people even say this). Anywho I am going to talk about some ways I think that can help anyone make friends. And this doesnt have to relate to just someone who is moving to a new city; it can be just for someone who wants to make friends period.


                   One suggestion that I have for making friends if you are a woman, is a site called girlfriendsocial.com. It’s for women who are looking for platonic relationships. I think its brillant and I have made a few friends on there. Of course it wont always be a match made in heaven, but it lets you see whats out there and its not as intense as online dating, you are just making friends. And the same rules apply for an online social site that applies to an online dating site. Always be safe. You can check out some safety tips here .Also another site that I have not tried yet, but is highly recommended is, meetup.com. Apparantely there are all these groups on there, for example people who love soccer and they have actual meetups and you get to meet different people. I think thats pretty cool. Another way to make friends is to join a class. I plan on taking a few classes. If you like art, poetry or play an instrument, join a class. You will meet lots of people. Also you can find a local recreational center. There are so many different things you can do at a rec center; play sports, go to a library if they have one, or attend an event. I also mingle with my boyfriend’s friends and family (did I just say mingle, wth). Go to free events. It’s the summer time and there are so many free events going on. You meet people and you dont have to kill your pocket either. And if you are a college alum, you can always use your college network to see if there are any alumni who have also moved into your area and reach out to them. Most importantly just be yourself. Thanks for reading guys!!!



xo xo