Don’t Text Me When You’re Bored or Lonely

rsz_img_0197Don’t text me when you’re bored or lonely. No seriously I mean it. Have you ever gotten a text from someone and had no idea who it was, because you had deleted that person’s number years/months ago because things never worked out? Well this too often happens to me. I don’t know what it is with some guys but I will date a guy or just talk to a guy and we won’t talk anymore for whatever reason and then boom I get that random hey whats up text (-_-). Who are you? No seriously who are you? Cause I am not the one you hit up when you are lonely or bored and I will call you out on it. Too many times people think that they can just hit you up out of nowhere because they need to be entertained. Well if this has ever happened to you I want you to tell that person to entertain themselves, go play with a yoyo and kick rocks with open toe shoes because you know your worth.

                     I am going to talk about two instances that happened in which I was completely puzzled. A few months back I got a text and it said “hey whats up Leslie”, I felt bad because I didn’t know who it was, and the person clearly knew who I was and I didn’t have the number saved. So I simply said “oh hey i’m sorry who is this”, the person automatically was like oh forget it etc. They got salty because I didn’t know who they were. Feeling like I may have really hurt someone’s feelings I thought long and hard, I finally figured out who it was and didn’t feel so sorry anymore. It was a guy that I used to talk to, who pretty much wasted my time and who I hadn’t talked to in literally a year and a half if not more. Who does that? I get it if we are friends and we just haven’t talked in a long time or maybe your regretting your past or w.e. But if that’s the case, call me, don’t text me and also if you didn’t treat me good before what makes you think I will just be so ready to jump when you say so. I am not the person that you call after scrolling through your phone while drunkenly reminiscing about the past and you yes YOU reading this shouldn’t be either because you are NOT THE BACK UP PLAN.

The other day I got a text from yet another number I did not know, from someone who I never actually dated or talked to. We met like once, exchanged numbers and nothing really happened and yet boom out of no where they wanted to know how I was doing after years. Pause, WHAT? What are you doing? Stop it! I wasn’t even mad, just a little annoyed. I am not the random booty call and I am not someone who is here to entertain you when you are bored. And you know what, I would appreciate it if people were just honest. I rather you tell me upfront honestly what you want instead of you “BS’ing” about it. This happened to one of my close friends. Some guy who it didn’t work out with had the nerve to hit her up on some “I’m lonely crap”. I appreciate his honesty but if it was me he would have got shut down right then and there. She proceeded to tell him that she had a boyfriend and then he pulled the you’re right I have a girl card too. Stop lying. The truth is he felt played and so he attempted to protect his integrity. But see the thing is his integrity died the moment he wrote “I’m lonely” after years of talking expecting her to jump cause he was now bored and available. The point of this post is to let you all know that you are worth so much more than a RANDOM text. And someone should contact you with true sincerity and not just for the sake of being entertained. Personally I rather someone call me, be real and not pretend like things didn’t hit the fan before. You are amazing, beautiful and a prized possession and don’t you everrrr forget it. Thanks for reading guys.

How to Make Friends in a New City

Moving

 

               Making friends in your twenties is hard. Making friends in your twenties in a new city is even harder. But let’s face it making friends when you’re passed the grade school era is just plain difficult. When you are a kid you dont have any shame or a care in the world, and you want to talk and play with everyone. It’s like , “hey can I play with your yo yo” and “omg you have the new spice girls gum” or “hey lets play on the jungle gym”. (Okay boom we are now friends for life, because spice girls gum and yo yo’s were pretty awesome) Even in college making friends can be a little weird at first. You get stuck in an orientation group with a crazy happy orientation leader who is just ridiculously nice for no reason. (Dude, why are you so happy, its creepy) And then you’re forced to talk to someone you dont know, when in reality it would be so much easier just to let it happen naturally. And now that I am in my twenties and out of college I am at a point where making friends feels like a lot of work. And it is not as easy as it used to be. You see back then if you let me play in your double dutch game we were lifelong besties. Now a person holds the door for you and you are still just a stranger, it’s like damn can I get a hello (no, I dont know you). Don’t get me wrong I am in no way super anti-social, but I dont just go up to people and start a conversation. Even when I was dating I didnt just say hey sexy over there, can I talk to you for a second? Can I get a refill? A guy would approach me and then it was easier.

 

                  Well the reason I have decided to write about this today is because I have just moved from NY to Saint Louis. Before you all say WOAH who moves from NY to STL. Let me explain, I like to try new things and I have lived in NY my whole life, while I will always be a New Yawkahh, it is overrated, very fun at times, but overrated. There is always bad that comes with the good. In a year I will be in LA. For now I am checking out STL and its not that bad. My only complaint about STL is the muggy weather. Its mainly humid, and I dont believe in humidity. I like dry heat, minus the forest fires. So far I have made like 2 friends ha ha. But I dont need a huge possy (do people even say this). Anywho I am going to talk about some ways I think that can help anyone make friends. And this doesnt have to relate to just someone who is moving to a new city; it can be just for someone who wants to make friends period.

 

                   One suggestion that I have for making friends if you are a woman, is a site called girlfriendsocial.com. It’s for women who are looking for platonic relationships. I think its brillant and I have made a few friends on there. Of course it wont always be a match made in heaven, but it lets you see whats out there and its not as intense as online dating, you are just making friends. And the same rules apply for an online social site that applies to an online dating site. Always be safe. You can check out some safety tips here .Also another site that I have not tried yet, but is highly recommended is, meetup.com. Apparantely there are all these groups on there, for example people who love soccer and they have actual meetups and you get to meet different people. I think thats pretty cool. Another way to make friends is to join a class. I plan on taking a few classes. If you like art, poetry or play an instrument, join a class. You will meet lots of people. Also you can find a local recreational center. There are so many different things you can do at a rec center; play sports, go to a library if they have one, or attend an event. I also mingle with my boyfriend’s friends and family (did I just say mingle, wth). Go to free events. It’s the summer time and there are so many free events going on. You meet people and you dont have to kill your pocket either. And if you are a college alum, you can always use your college network to see if there are any alumni who have also moved into your area and reach out to them. Most importantly just be yourself. Thanks for reading guys!!!

 

Kisses

xo xo